Monday, December 20, 2010

2.5 A Sense of Proportion

Mr Monkey ~ Vinicius Quesada

On descending the threadbare staircase they found a man behind the reception desk; a small badge pinned to his breast announce him to be DESK CLERK.
Atom could not decide whether this was the man’s name or his function; what, he asked himself, can a desk do that would generate enough paperwork to warrant a clerk?.
The desk clerk stopped whistling to ask “Yes sir? Can I help with anything?” Then tilting his head to the side as if listening with one ear only (the other perhaps content to wax lyrical to its owner on the benefits of aural hygiene) he raised his eyebrow in Atom’s direction..
“Um… are…there any messages for me?” the end of Atom’s question rose hopefully.
The desk clerk shifted with discomfort and made a charade of checking the pigeonholes behind him then bending to check behind the desk, opening and shutting drawers, lifting his shiny-shoe encased feet to check their soles.
“No sir, no messages” he sighed.
“Never mind him” said Cajones, “If you want to know anything, ask me.”
“Every time I ask you something I end up with ten more questions”
Atom made for the revolving door; Cajones followed.
“Oh, and sir,” said the desk clerk after them, “No pets in the room: Health & Safety.”
(XXX[2])
“That was disgusting,” said Atom, “and you didn’t even bother to eat him”
“There’s plenty more in the henhouse.” Said Cajones
“But did you have to… ugh”
“Yes, I had to; d’you think those skills come easy? Or cheap?” Cajones licked his paw, chewing in between his claws to ensure a thorough job, “It takes years of training: physical and mental; you need hand-eye coordination second to none; you gotta be in top shape; not an ounce of flab; all this added to a modicum of mime skills and a whole lotta balls. It would have been rude not to do it.”
“Ok look, I know I know nothing (It’s about the only thing I know) but everything inside me has been nagging at me that cats shouldn’t be able to talk… and now I know why.”
“No need to be so indignant Pinky, it’s not as if I wasn’t provoked. Your lot have nuked whole continents for less.”


[2]Editor’s note: The section imagined here has been removed by the PTB. Their hallowed members, ever concerned for the fragile stomach of the common man, deemed the content too graphic, and frankly gratuitous for general consumption.




3 comments:

Harlequin said...

go, cajones, go!!
it's really heating up here now, isn't it?
btw, your dialogue over the past few atom posts has been quite wonderful. absurd, twisty, perverse... just the stuff i expect to see so well done here!!

Pisces Iscariot said...

Harlequin: more perverse twisty stuff to follow.

JeffScape said...

That sucks. What could possibly have been a favorite (sans "u") scene of mine has been unfairly censored.

Damned cats.