Saturday, May 13, 2006


Malaise – it’s an interesting word, a sort of mix between madness and corn.
So I find myself watching somebody else’s stupid life on realityvee; my spine almost horizontal on the too-soft couch. I hate watching this crap; I don’t care about these stupid people; but I can’t move; I can’t be bothered.

Everybody hates change. The prospect of change - moving house, changing jobs, moving on - it scares the shit out of us. Change brings with it – free of charge – the fear of the unknown; the future. The future is to be avoided at all costs.

Who the hell wants to deal with the future? The fear of change is also the fear of time.
Best crawl back into the brightest corner of the cave and try and have a laugh.

And yet – for those who do not shy away at this point (or for those who shy away only to return) change is the only true measure of life and of a life lived.

Children endure change unwillingly but far more easily. It is safe to say that their lives are in constant flux – it constitutes the sum total of their lives.
Growing up is, in many ways, a reaction, an attempt to stop the change.

So I reach the age of twenty five and believe I’m a complete person with fully formed views. Like cycling to the station and not catching the train, but huddling in the warmth of the waiting room and reading the timetables.

And descending from the train’s creaking carcass come the travellers, in their manner a sense of something more; something left behind – loss and deliverance. They have not stood still, they have overcome the fear of change – as my father never said to me “hardship builds character”

So, twenty years later, I’m a complete person right? I took the train; hopped a flight and bit the bullet. I’ve changed; I’m still the same. Change is a natural process made unnatural by man’s ability to see his ultimate destination. Resist if you will, but don’t you want to know “What’s new?”

Embrace the changes with care; feed and water them with thought or impulse; make it happen. Ride the discomfort, the upheaval, it is only a short interval before life catches up and you begin to reap the change for all that is new, feed on it’s knowledge, and digest the experience.

And what will change bring you? Who knows? But it will bring you something other than malaise.


littlebitofsonshine said...

Yes wow you hit a nail on the head and let it sink deep>but when change is looked apon finaly as the goodness of the word and with the wonder of a child would thatnot be the greatest gift.To walk out as a child does in a wonder of trueth and healing for all not just the sum of there tolls.

White Man Retarded said...

I'm eating malaise right now, though. Malaise on the cob. Maybe after the meal I could change for the better. Isn't it funny how there are moments in life you think you got it then along comes life again and shows you you don't? Listen to muzzle from SP.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Fear of change impedes personal growth and the opportunities that go along with it. It's easier to remain rooted in out own little paradigms then to try something new. Easier to embrace perpetual victimhood and savor the attention and sympathy that goes along with it, then to move past it. Easier to complain than to actually get up off our asses and do something about it.

The only change in store for me today is a change of underwear because I do fear the unknown and usually take the easy route as opposed to the one less traveled.

I LURVE the picture, Pisces. Very emotive and interesting. It reminds me of the knee high socks my Mom gave me last week with an Afroed woman on it and they say "Disco Queen" all over them. I'm waiting for a large Church gathering to actually wear them out into public.

Anonymous said...

nice blog!!