Soon after hatching from the egg Atom chanced upon a large ginger tom. He was filled with an odd sensation of familiarity.
“Hello Kitty” he said.
“Don’t call me Kitty,” said the cat, “I’m bigger than you are and my name is Cajones.”
“Balls,” said Atom, “a talking cat”
“Balls indeed, just remember that all of this is an experiment conducted by a mad scientist,” said the cat, “so anything’s possible.”
“What is the mad scientist trying to prove with this experiment?” asked Atom
“Fucked if I know, I don’t even know what a mad scientist is,” said Cajones, “but I do know what your lot are like: always tampering(erm…experimenting) with things; always with your fingers in the gears; always blaming someone else for the fact that you keep losing fingers,” He turned and headed on down the pathway.
Atom contemplated the view afforded and shuddered.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m taking you to the others.”
The hotel’s revolving door was cool for cats but less than welcoming for (the naked and still clumsy) Atom who stubbed his bare toes and yelped.
“For a second there I thought you were going to Bangkok,” said Cajones, “…to quote an old cat joke.” He consulted the register: “Oh look, they’ve put you in the Oriental Suite.”
In an ungainly display of multitasking, Atom looked at the register (while hopping on one foot and massaging the other with grubby hands); logosyllabic script sashayed across the page unwilling communicate with the monosyllabic pain that throbbed in his toes.
“Hop this way sir, I’ll show you to your room”
Atom followed Cajones’ tail towards the threadbare stairs.
The room was basic (no complimentary mint or personalized welcome on the TV); the television (in fact) played a succession of graphic images of talking (bodiless) heads and (body dysfunctional) pornography which Atom found difficult to distinguish from one another. The giant mirror reflected a blood-smeared, naked individual (whom Atom took to be himself) and the ginger cat that took the entire mirror behind him.
“Fuck, I do need a bath” said Atom, finding the bathroom easily enough (there was only one other door beside the one that they’d entered through).
“Yes you do” Cajones remained before the mirror unwilling to decide whether he was just gazing at his own beauty or sending a message to the mad scientist.
“That cat is really starting to piss me off,” said the mad scientist as he scratched a succession of mad scientist type words in mad scientist typeface(bold) in his mad scientist notebook, “But I don’t think we can influence him with violence, He’s too fucking big to break that easily. We're going to have to change his diet”
“Hello Kitty” he said.
“Don’t call me Kitty,” said the cat, “I’m bigger than you are and my name is Cajones.”
“Balls,” said Atom, “a talking cat”
“Balls indeed, just remember that all of this is an experiment conducted by a mad scientist,” said the cat, “so anything’s possible.”
“What is the mad scientist trying to prove with this experiment?” asked Atom
“Fucked if I know, I don’t even know what a mad scientist is,” said Cajones, “but I do know what your lot are like: always tampering(erm…experimenting) with things; always with your fingers in the gears; always blaming someone else for the fact that you keep losing fingers,” He turned and headed on down the pathway.
Atom contemplated the view afforded and shuddered.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m taking you to the others.”
The hotel’s revolving door was cool for cats but less than welcoming for (the naked and still clumsy) Atom who stubbed his bare toes and yelped.
“For a second there I thought you were going to Bangkok,” said Cajones, “…to quote an old cat joke.” He consulted the register: “Oh look, they’ve put you in the Oriental Suite.”
In an ungainly display of multitasking, Atom looked at the register (while hopping on one foot and massaging the other with grubby hands); logosyllabic script sashayed across the page unwilling communicate with the monosyllabic pain that throbbed in his toes.
“Hop this way sir, I’ll show you to your room”
Atom followed Cajones’ tail towards the threadbare stairs.
The room was basic (no complimentary mint or personalized welcome on the TV); the television (in fact) played a succession of graphic images of talking (bodiless) heads and (body dysfunctional) pornography which Atom found difficult to distinguish from one another. The giant mirror reflected a blood-smeared, naked individual (whom Atom took to be himself) and the ginger cat that took the entire mirror behind him.
“Fuck, I do need a bath” said Atom, finding the bathroom easily enough (there was only one other door beside the one that they’d entered through).
“Yes you do” Cajones remained before the mirror unwilling to decide whether he was just gazing at his own beauty or sending a message to the mad scientist.
“That cat is really starting to piss me off,” said the mad scientist as he scratched a succession of mad scientist type words in mad scientist typeface(bold) in his mad scientist notebook, “But I don’t think we can influence him with violence, He’s too fucking big to break that easily. We're going to have to change his diet”
7 comments:
Khyne: No thanks, this is an anti-commercial site
haha. fat cat.
you're not selling Friskies here?
Tom: be careful, he's sensitive about his weight
Castrate Gingernuts!
These are great.
Jeff: ouch! bad boy! surely you don't wanna do that to the nice kitty?
i love this !! write on!!
Harlequin: can' stop now, even if I wanted to.
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