Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Goodbye New Zealand

Here’s to clean green New Zealand
Here’s to Watkins Dow and agent orange ddt and possum killing as a sport
Here’s to your culture
If it were not for Maori culture you’d have no culture at all
Here’s to race and gender equality
The chicks and the bloody asians applaud your progressive outlook
Here’s to your infrastructure
One train set doesn’t count as a transport service
Here’s to your cardboard houses
Here’s to your weather
On the odd occasion when it isn’t raining the hole in the ozone ensures that you can’t go out during daylight
Here’s to national pride
All black; black fern; tall black; black cocks!
Homo erotic meathead heroes
Here’s to your society of simple farming folk
A nation of landlords exploiting the poor
Here’s to kiwi ingenuity
Tweaking and reinventing the wheel; badly
Here’s to customer service
Pay through your nose no questions asked it’s not my fault
Here’s to the environment
Cut down those trees chainsaw the future
Here’s to bureaucracy
Pay through the nose the mouth and the anus
Pay for the benefit of paying
Here’s to government; National and local
Corrupt cripple and condescending
Here's to all the things I left out
Here’s to the sheep
A true symbol of the nation


the flying monkeys said...


Anonymous said...

is this a figurative good-bye or literal??? or, I suppose, both... I think I meant this personally.

Dr Victorino de la Vega said...

Ave frater Iscariotus,

Does this latest anti-mercantile existentialist tirade mean you’re leaving New Zealand for good?

If so, where to?

After the hole in the ozone layer, the southern hemisphere is in danger of witnessing a puncture in its e-literary scene…

Pisces Iscariot said...

I'm in London. Watch this space.

Zanzounito said...

If you suffer writer's block, you may consider just filling in "Goodbye ____" to each country you visit.

For I have yet to see a country that does not suffer from the decay that you mention.

Hope you enjoy London, to cold for me :)

Zanzounito said...

*too cold

Chandira said...

I guess you like New Zealand then... ;-)

Enjoy London!!